I had a stream of thoughts today and I’ve been trying my best to assemble them into a meaningful post. For whatever reason, however, I’m struggling a bit with my articulation. I’ll do my best to get these points across and try to make some sense of it, but if the following post is confusing, it is what it is.

I think that everyone can agree that being decisive is a good trait to have. Being decisive means a variety of things. It includes determination. You know what you want and you are determined to get it. You can accept nothing less than that expectation you hold. It means that you posses the ability to stand your ground, stand alongside your beliefs, and not settle for anything less. There is also a certain level of reason that one must also posses, in relatively equal proportions. The individual who believes that they are decisive, able to stand their ground, and have their expectations met who also lacks the ability to reason is ultimately set for failure.

In addition, I find that many people who seem to be decisive or ‘has it together’ is often times only operating within that mindset within the scope of conversations. It is more important for many of those people to only be that way if it helps them to solidify the perception that others have upon them. They may say that “this is the way it is”, yet later on they completely bend and bow to the exact opposite of what they so boldly spoke of.

It seems that people are so worried about what OTHER people think of them that they are willing to brag themselves up in many situation yet fail to deliver the true persona they so dearly wish that you believe they embody. Finding people who truly ‘talk the talk’ in tandem with ‘walking the walk’ is an absolutely rarity. I see this time and time again, every day. Examples are so abundant. I hear someone cock-off about something at work and they are going do “X”, but when push comes to shove they are already siding with “Y”. If people actually were decisive to such a degree as they wish you to believe they are, then they must live such an empty life that is incredibly boring.

When I go to a store looking for a certain product, I have to accept the fact that the product may not be there and be prepared to make a secondary decision to address a particular need. Perhaps something comparable is there. I certainly won’t get in my car and drive all around the county until I find that original thing and that’s just being reasonable. But there’s always ‘that person’ who would like you to believe that they would go to the worlds end to find that very thing – even if we all know it’s bullshit.

People are typically so wrapped in what they wish they were and trying to convince others that they are that person when in reality they are nothing close to it. It’s kind of embarrassing – especially when you can sense it. People are so out of touch with their true selves that they are of the mentality that if you tell a lie 1,000 times, it will eventually come true. Kind of like folk who read the bible and subsequently teach it to others. They want you to live by the book, perform gods work, and be the best damn Christian/Muslim/Jew/whatever that you can be. But if the fundamentals within the scope of that book or that religion go against your natural tendencies, why the hell are you wasting the time trying convince me that ARE that person? I don’t give a fuck!

There is no need to prove yourself to me or anyone other than yourself. You do not need to convince me that you are a good person because you drive a nice care, because you go to church, because you pray to your god, because you don’t believe in abortion, etc. It’s all bullshit. My perception of you is simple: I could care less. The only person that I need to be accountable for is number one. I certainly don’t run around trying to prove to others that I’m the best Satanists out there – that no other better people walked before. I don’t seek external validation from other people. As long as I’m happy and enjoying the moment, that is all I need. I jut cannot wrap my head around the psychology of other people where they feel such a strong need to make other people believe they are a certain way.

It’s like those people who dress in bizarre clothing and call themselves ‘goths’. If the goth-scene didn’t exist, what you do? Would be the one to invent it? No. You are living a certain way to directly affect the perceptions of others to try and make yourself feel better – or something. You are not setting a new trend, you aren’t doing anything new, you are simply being one more sheep within a herd. Why do you feel a need to draw attention to yourself?

Another example is those people who have no physical build whatsoever. They have no muscular definition. They strong segment of their body is their mouth. Yet the walk around with their arms out to the side and strutting around like they are the toughest person that ever walked on the planet. Sorry – if you think anybody is going to be convinced that you are tough because you hold your arms out and try to puff yourself up like some kind of scared chicken, you are sadly mistaken. You are a pussy and the world knows. You are simply trying to alter the perceptions of others that you are something that you are not.

It takes a truly tough and unique person to truly be themselves. To be comfortable with who they are and not put on acts or try to be something they are not. I salute those of you are real. Good job, keep it up. To those who are wrapped up impressing others or trying to find validation through affecting how others view you through speech, dress, or mannerisms, get your fucking heads out of your fucking asses. You look ridiculous and everyone can see it – even that little pathetic person residing down inside you sees it. Face it, embrace it, and join the realm of the living here in the ‘now’.


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